O Lord, You never let go!! (Part 1)

Filed Under (Philip) by Susan on 06-04-2009

 
Needless to say, the past week has been busy with doctor’s appointments,
phone calls, worries, and all!!  Once a year, Philip has a “Craniofacial Clinic”
where he meets with all the craniofacial experts on his team.  They include the
plastic surgeon, ENT specialist, audiologist, speech therapist, orthodontist,
and us as a family.  They each do an individual assessment of Philip, then come
together as a team and discuss his health, his future, and any present
concerns.  One unexpected discovery was a small amount of high frequency hearing
loss, which has never occurred over the past 8 years.  The major concern
however, was Philip’s continued difficulty and discomfort with use of his CPAP
at night to treat his sleep apnea. 
 
Our Ear, Nose, Throat specialist met with us again this week and reviewed
Philip’s sleep study done after his nasopharyngeal flap surgery last August.  He
discussed the possibility of removing a portion of his tongue to help open his
airway.  After examining Philip, he concluded, however, that this surgical
intervention alone would not significantly open Philip’s airway to recover from
the apnea.  His next option would be a tracheostomy, where a hole is cut into
his throat to open his airway (God please no).  These were the options that he
could consider to help improve Phil’s airway.  He asked us to meet with the
plastic surgeon to discuss the possibility of moving his jaw forward with
distractors and thereby move his tongue forward to open his airway. 
 
We’ve discussed this jaw surgery in the past, I do not know if the time is
right for Philip to have this done, Now.
 
Another thing to consider is Philip has this scoliosis in his back.  If he
does require jaw surgery now, which would have some extensive recovery time,
then what would we do about his spine?  The curve in his back will also affect
his breathing if left unattended?  We had hoped to take him to India for
medicine and massage to help reduce his spinal curve.  This cannot happen if he
needs to have his jaw worked on now. 
 
I’ve never before felt so confused!  I was so unsure of where to go and
what step to take.  I want the best outcome for Philip, yet I don’t want
anything I do or do not do to adversely affect him.  Where do I get any
answer?
 
Well, you already know where our answers come from.  Thank you so much,
dear readers, for your prayers on our behalf.  We also were reminded of the
scripture from IIChronicles 20, where King Jehoshaphat is surrounded by 3
different enemies.  He will surely be defeated.  He prays to God and says, “we
don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you, Lord.”
 
I do not know what more to do right now.  We will try to work with our
sleep specialist to see if any other masks for Phil’s breathing may be
appropriate for him.  This is to postpone the jaw surgery, if at all possible. 
I am keeping my eyes on the Lord, I believe He will instruct us and guide us
with His own eye.
 
More to come…. I love you all so much,  Susan

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Praise it Up!!

Filed Under (Philip) by Susan on 04-03-2009

As promised in the last blog, there was more to tell you about how the Lord was my strength and my deliverer, (as I quoted from Psalms 18:2-3), over the past week.  Last Friday night, one of our young people from church, Ruby, organized a benefit concert for Siskin Children’s Institute, the school Philip attended for 4 years.  The event, called “Praise it Up!” ,was a part of her senior project, and as her interest is in helping, educating autistic children, she chose Siskin as the beneficiary of her concert. 

Two weeks ago, she asked Philip to share some of his thoughts and experiences from Siskin during the concert.  Philip initially told me, “Mom, I’ll be so embarrassed!”  I told him that I would stand on the stage with him.  He took some comfort in that.

Ruby also asked me to share the vision of LWR as it was birthed in part from our own experiences with Philip.  Needless to say, Philip and I were both preparing for the big event, and were excited.  However, I was a little more anxious than I anticipated, I guess.  All I could think about last week was how much I missed my husband (who was in India during the time).  Whenever we are asked to speak about LWR or share Philip’s testimony, we always spend some time in prayer before the event.  I missed that and felt that I needed help last Friday.  Well, before Philip and I entered the auditorium, I told him that we should just pray together.  I reminded Philip of a scripture that he memorized from Jeremiah 1:4-10.  In it, God tells Jeremiah not to be afraid, because God was with him.  He also told the prophet that “I have put my words in your mouth.”  So as Philip was praying he said, “God please put the words in OUR mouths, mommy’s and mine.”  His prayer so blessed and encouraged me.  Then in the auditorium friends and family came also and encouraged me, stating they were praying for us. 

The concert was like a church service, it was beautiful, and so easy to just praise God in that place.  I thank God for his gentle reminders, and the way He speaks to us, sometimes even from the mouths of babes.

Pray for Philip.  I believe this is the first time he has actually “had a speaking engagement.”  And I believe in my heart, that this event is only the beginning.  We are praying that God would put the words in his mouth, and use Philip for the glory of God.

May God bless you and use you for His glory!

Susan

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I Need You More

Filed Under (Philip) by Susan on 22-09-2008

I need you more, more than yesterday…

That is another beautiful chorus that goes like this:

 I need you more, more than yesterday
 I need you more, more than words can say
 I need you more, than ever before
 I need you more, Lord, I need you more

Those words could sum up my heart the past few weeks.  There is so much to share.  I’ll try to space it over a few entries!

First off, life has been rough.  In spite of using the CPAP at night, Philip continues to have periodic struggles with his breathing.  He is rolling around at night, sitting up in his sleep trying to breathe with the stinky mask on his face. 

I’ve had words with God.  I just did not know what to do.  I try to adjust his mask, reposition Philip, hold Philip, but nothing helps.  Finally, I guess in desperation I broke down before God.  “Would you just give me a sign, just show me that you know we are here?  Just do something, anything?”

Silence.

There was nothing.  Sure weekends are filled with messages, prayers, friends, radio ministries, devotions that all minister to me, but nothing helps at 3a.m. when you are desperate for an answer.

 I can’t quite explain it, but I know there is a greater good to come out of all this suffering.  Two things I was reminded of: Worship, healing can take place any time.  I expect those to occur during a time of worship on Sunday morning.  However, if I’ve not lived with the expectation on Monday to Saturday, how can I expect God to work just when I worship on Sunday?  Worship is a lifestyle.  May God give me a steadfast spirit, a right spirit to worship daily in every choice, every decision, in life every day.

Second, I watched a cartoon version of Abraham and the sacrifice of Isaac with my children yesterday.  It all kind of clicked when I thought of Abraham’s act of worship in sacrificing his son of promise, Isaac.  Wow.  What faith in that man!  I wonder if Sara knew that the Lord commanded Abraham to sacrifice their son?  The promised heir?  Yet, Abraham knew God had a plan for Isaac.  He knew the Lord would provide the lamb to be sacrificed, and that he and Isaac together would return from the mountain afterwards.  God is in control.  I pray that my faith, my trust may increase in these days, knowing the promise that is to be fulfilled in Philip’s life.

May God bless you and give you strength in this new week.

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